Family Planning – How Many Children Should You Have?
Family planning is something my husband and I have talked about since we first got married in 1999. I always wanted to have a large family because I am the oldest of 8 children. I grew up with my sisters and cousins under one roof. I loved growing up in a big family. At one time I felt a tremendous urge to have as many babies as possible. Yet, I held myself back for quite a few years because I met my husband in the mid 90’s, while we were in high school. When we got married after high school we felt like we were just too young to start a family, and we wanted to enjoy each other for a few years first. We finally had our first son 7 years after we first got married, and we just recently had another baby in January. Now that we have 2 children our dream of having a large family is starting to fade for many reasons. For now we have decided to postpone making the final decision to have more children, for at least a few more years. To us this is such a hard choice to make, and perhaps it is for many people, which is why I decided to write this article.
Our decision is heavily influenced by so many things such as, our financial ability to care for more children, our ability to give our children quality time, and of course my age. I’m not so young any more and the clock is ticking as I will soon to be 30. I have a few short years left in order to be in the safe zone, and even then there are still risks. For instance, I labored with both of my boys, and yet I ended up having a C-section with both of them for two very different reasons.The surgeries were very hard on my body, and I’m not so sure that I want to endure more surgeries physically or emotionally. Surgery is also very risky. I had to search to even find a doctor that would allow me to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). I think if I am to become pregnant again, I will try for a VBAC one more time. If your also having a hard time deciding how large you want your family to be, here a few things to consider, which may help you make the choice that’s best for both you and your partner.
Do you have the time available to give each child quality one on one time? Are you working 2 jobs, and going to school to reach your goals? If you don’t have the time to give your child you may want to wait until things settle down in your life, or change your lifestyle in order to make more time.
Age is always something to consider when you want to have more children. It is much harder going through a pregnancy when you’re in your 30’s as compared to your 20’s. There are also more risks associated with a pregnancy when you’re over 35.
As the cost of living continues to increase you need to ask yourself what sacrifices you will need to make if you want to have a large family. If you’re financially stable and able to provide, there are less limitations on you when it comes to finances. However, some families are struggling to make ends meet as it is with 2-3 children. In some cases more children might mean giving up some things. Still I have seen some families who live on a very modest income do very well because they bargain shop, and have good money management skills.
What does your heart want?
Your heart and your brain may want two different things, which is part of the reason why this choice is so hard to make. You may want just one more baby, yet you know that the added cost will cause you to make some sacrifices. You will need to decide if you want to follow your heart or your brain. What is the most important to you and your spouse?
Are you and your spouse in mutual agreement?
Do both you and your spouse feel the same about how many children you want to have, or is one spouse not sure? If one person wants to have 6 children while the other only wants to have 2 children, you can compromise and have 4 children, or you can always decide later.
Ultimately the choice of how many children to have is a personal and it’s between you and your spouse. Remember that this is your family and you decide which sacrifices you want to make.