Expectatins for Our Children: Childrens Goals Versus Parent’s Goals
When our children are born, we have high expectations for them. Parents have dreams, hopes and wishes for their future. As parents, we want what is best for our children, even at times it may not be what they want.
How do we as parents not push our hopes and dreams onto our children without suffocating them? Simple, do not push what you wanted onto them but rather help them achieve the goals they want for themselves.
Our children are our future and as such, we need to respect the goals they set will be met. As children, they grow and develop minds of their own and in doing so they want to decide their own future.
Children want to live their dreams not their parent’s dreams.
The big question is how do we accept what our children want even when we think it may be the wrong direction?
An example: John wants to go to college to learn more about music because he has a passion for it. His dream is to one day have his own band. John’s parents want him to attend college to get his degree in medicine.
Solution: John’s parents sit down and talk with John about his passion for music. Then John can allow his parents to speak as to why he should attend medical school. Once they have heard both sides. John can explain why he would prefer music to medicine.
Once John’s parents have listened, they can now understand and give the love and support their son needs to chase his dreams of being a musician.
Parents need to learn to listen and understand that children need and want their parent’s approval, but they also want your support in what they choose to do with their life. After all, it is ultimately their choice.
Trust in your child; even if he or she fails let them know as parents you will be there to catch them if they fall.
Another way to look at things is through your child’s eyes. Think back to when you were young and starting out on your own. Did you want to follow the path your parents had laid out for you? If you can say no to this question, then why should you expect your child to say yes?
Communication and understanding between parent and child will go along way in helping your son or daughter achieve their own goals in life.