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The Endless Magazine Worm Hole (Explore)

Here’s what is going on inside of my head… 

You: Man, where is that lazy ass blogger anyway?

Me: Gawd, I am so lame that I can’t even manage a post. I write about work-life balance ALL the time, yet I can barely tread water this week. #fail

You: No seriously, I remember when she used to post all the time. I think I just saw a tumbleweed blow by. I FEEL NEGLECTED. #fail

Me: I suck. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Drool. ACK!

You: Hmmmmm, maybe I should break up with her and find a lovely new blog to love and cherish? Hmmmmm.

Me: OMG, they are going to break up with me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Drool. ACK!

Me: Pie. Pie would help. Pie always help. It’s pie. It’s medicinal, right?

You: Sound pie advice. Just sayin’.

Me: Kind of you to agree about the pie, especially since I have been such a lame ass blogger.

You: Don’t get carried away, I still feel neglected.

Me: <Hangs head in shame. >

And scene. 

See ya outside my head soon! ~ The Grass Stain Guru 

Creative Commons License photo credit: GAPHIKER

 

Dear Mother Nature

Tulips

Can we talk? I mean, honestly? Nature girl to nature girl.

Something is in the chilly air…

Alison Kerr stopped by earlier this week to help us dream of the coming spring and the future blooms of our gardens.

And I’ve noticed a lot of posts around the interwebs lately about the winter blues — who’s got ‘em, how to beat ‘em, and how much they suck.

And let me just say: hear stinkin’ hear!

I am good for the first half of winter, but by January, I start dusting off my cranky pants and wearing them for the duration.

Sure, I love to make snowmen, look for critter tracks in the snow, go birdwatching, and other fun nature things. And I think we all know how I feel about hot cocoa.(Read: deep, abiding love.)

But I gotta be honest, Mother Nature, I am done for the year. D-O-N-E.

No, really. I’m serious. My cranky pants are getting too tight and if I don’t get some more day light soon, I am gonna snap. We’re talkin’ full blown white trash fit. It will not be pretty.

So, I would like to order spring now, please. Glorious, green, warm, fragrant, AMAZING spring.

Bring. It. ON! (Pretty please.)

xoxo Your biggest fan, The Grass Stain Guru, she of the cranky pants

Creative Commons License photo credit: Duncanh1

Dear Santa: A Letter from The Grass Stain Guru

Ready for baking

Dear Santa:

In light of the economy and the present climate situation, I am keeping my list rather short this year. (Um, that is, unless the  Sir Ken Robinson action figure I have been dreaming about has finally become a reality. If so, please put that near at the top of my list. If you think about it, 11 really is a reasonable number.)

I promise I have been a good fairly well-behaved girl this year. Surely you cannot will not hold a little road rage spirited comment action in the direction of morons on the road other drivers against a nice girl like me.

Anyway, so back to my list — there’s one more thing: I would like to share these gifts with all my readers and all the kids in the world, too. (Well, except the Sir Ken Robinson action figure, should it become available. I suspect that might cause some head-scratching and quizzical looks across the globe.)

Hope this is  not too much to ask, but I think you will agree — they are all really MUST haves. (And BIG thanks for the extra space in the sleigh this year!)

All I want for Christmas is:

  1. The perfect stick for roasting marshmallows
  2. A rainbow in the sky over a glorious rain puddle
  3. Cool moss under my feet
  4. Sand between my toes
  5. The perfect red maple leaf to press in a book
  6. Berries, ripe for the picking
  7. Good kite-flying weather this spring
  8. Lots of earthworms in the garden soil
  9. A jar with holes punched in the lid for catching (and releasing) critters
  10. A shiny new nature journal

xoxo – The Grass Stain Guru

PS: Love to Mrs. Claus and the reindeer. (Especially Vixen, who let’s face it, gets a bit of a bad wrap.)

PPS: The home-baked cookie should not be seen as a bribe. But, did you notice I carefully cut out heart shapes? Just sayin’.

Creative Commons License photo credit: ?ellie?

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