children – The Grass Stain Guru

Resisting the Urge…

May 13, 2013

It’s almost here — the end of the school year. Can you believe it?!

As summer approaches, so do longer hours of unscheduled time for many children. And while the temptation of structuring every moment is ever-present in today’s society, I would like to encourage you (well me, and pediatricians, child psychologists, and many other experts) to provide plenty of time for good old-fashioned, unstructured outdoor play. Allow for plenty of daily chances for children to be in the driver’s seat, making their own rules, and creating their own stories.

Resist the urge to over-schedule. Resist the urge to hover. Embrace mess and down-time. Let children explore and find their own way out of self-proclaimed boredom.

“Play not only affords children an early source of identity, but is full of useful information about yourself and the world around you,

for once not filtered through adult minds and eyes.” — Libby Brooks (Author)

Here’s the thing: Children have spent the last nine months very scheduled, buttoned-down, and zipped-up. They’ve been tested. They’ve sat. A LOT. And they have listened — to instructions directions, reprimands, and the word “NO”. So this summer, practice saying “Yes”.

As in, Yes you may:

go outside and play
read comic books out in the hammock
walk/ride your bike to a friend’s house
camp out in the backyard
play flashlight tag after dark
build a fort
plant a garden or even just dig a hole
go barefoot
get really, really dirty
be a kid

Your mantra: Resist the urge.

You can do it. I know you can!

See ya outside! ~ The Grass Stain Guru

photo by: Pink Sherbet Photography

By Bethe | Posted in parenting, Perspectives, play | Tagged Childhood, children, fun, happiness, health, kids, outdoors, parenting, play | Comments (3)

Holiday Shopping: Don’t Lose Your Sh*t, People!

November 28, 2012

Childhood is pretty simple. No really, it is. But we adults over-complicate it and fill it up with noise and lots and lots of stuff. We are the adults — all roads lead back to us.

Door busters. Black Friday. Cyber Monday. Buying ~~shit~~ Stuff You Don’t Need Tuesday…MAKE. IT. STOP.

Simply put, the Holidays have become RIDICULOUS. There, I’ve said it. People, it needed to be said. And it needs to be repeated. RIDICULOUS.

And who has made it ridiculous? Hint: It’s not the kids.

Parents spending excessive amounts of money on mostly things children do not need, won’t enjoy for very long, and only want because some marketer told them they wanted it. Buying presents out of guilt. Trying to outdo last year, or the neighbors, or the sister-in-law. Whatever.

Odds are, this will ring at least a little bit true to you, unless you are a Super Zen Holiday Master, and if so, I am totally tipping my hat to you right now (chapeau!).

It doesn’t have to be like this. We can take a stand in our own lives and families and reclaim sanity. I’ve seen the idea of Four Presents floating around the last few years and I really like the concept.

Each child gets 4 presents:

1. Something they want

2. Something they need

3. Something to wear

4. Something to read

Balanced and sane, with plenty of room for fun and whimsy. It also challenges you to focus on quality versus quantity, and forces you to really consider each child in a meaningful way. I like the idea of adding a 5th item — a coupon for one child-selected outing or activity. Kids will delight in picking an activity and helping plan the when and the where!

Will there be some push back? Most likely, but you can get through it and it will be worth it. (And after all, you are the adult – just sayin‘.) Plus, the planet will thank you. ALL THAT PLASTIC and excessive packaging for goods that are mostly made in China. Who needs it? More isn’t always better, often it is just more.

If you have children that are used to getting lots and lots of presents, talk to them about the real meaning of the holiday and how your family is going to shift the focus to spending more time together doing fun things, like ice skating, hiking, or game nights around the tree (or menorah or kinara). For very young children, they won’t know the difference and you will be setting a healthy expectation of the holiday.

As for toys, keep a few things in mind:

A toy should be 90% child and 10% toy, meaning if the toy does all the work and supplies all the creativity, who is having the fun? We want the kids to get great things out of a toy versus have the toy go through the motions set-up by manufacturers.
Keep movement in mind. Will this promote active play or sedentary play? Today’s children are spending 7.5 hours a day in front of screens, do you really want to add to that?

Here are a few posts that might help you out:

Help your child learn how to give to others (Imagination Soup)
Top 10 #playoutdoors gifts (Active Kids Club)
10 Holiday Gift Ideas for Little Nature Explorers (Go Explore Nature)
Choosing toys and play for children with Autism (Let Kids Play)
Top 100 Children’s Books of All Time (Children’s Book Guide)
25 Fun Things to Do with Your Kids in Winter (About)

Two more tips…

Check out Nature Find and see what local outdoor fun is to be had in your area.
Need a gift for parents? My friend Suz Lipman has a great book (Fed Up With Frenzy) that will help folks slow down and simplify.

Hope this post helps and inspires. If you have already over-purchased, set some things aside for birthday presents, give them to Toys for Tots, or return them and add that money to the Family Fun Budget (or save it!).

Deep breath — you can do it. And remember other people will give presents too. Plus the old adage really is true, what children truly remember is the gift of time spent with you.

Happy Sane Holidays! ~ The Grass Stain Guru

PS: Don’t forget to save the cardboard boxes — best toys EVER!

photos by: Loyal O.A.K. & bbrown6, whiteafrican

By Bethe | Posted in parenting, Perspectives | Tagged children, family fun, happiness, health, holidays. Christmas, kids, outdoors, parenting, play | Comments (7)

Fed Up With Frenzy? Get ‘em Outside to Play!

August 2, 2012

TGSG Note: Hi gang! This week, my friend and fellow nature geek, Suz Sachs Lipman, is stopping by to share some fun activities to help get you and your family outside and connecting with nature. Suz is celebrating the publishing of her new book, Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World. See ya outside! ~ The Grass Stain Guru

If you find yourself craving a deeper connection to nature, but don’t know where to begin or what to do once we get there, you’re not alone. These simple and rewarding activities can help you and your family slow down enough to observe and experience nature’s small wonders and have fun while you’re doing so.

1. Name Walk

As lovely as nature is, the instruction to observe it can be overwhelming, especially for kids. Just as birdwatchers focus on birds, other opportunities to focus on specific elements of nature can help children tune into their surroundings.

You’ll need:

• Paper and pencils, optional

Before beginning your walk, instruct everyone to look for things that start with the same first letter as their names.

Lead kids on a route or trail or around a park and encourage them to look in the sky, on the ground, and in trees. Be prepared to walk slowly and perhaps not cover much distance, to allow
deep observation.

Try other observation walks by having everyone look for the same type of thing, such as flowers, leaves, birds, rocks, small items, smooth items, or certain colors. See how many varieties the group can find within one category.

2. Nature Bracelets

I’ve done this very easy activity with groups of all ages. It encourages people to look all around them.

You’ll need:

• Masking tape, 1? or wider, enough to go around each child’s wrist

Tear off a piece of masking tape, slightly longer than the child’s wrist.

Place it around the wrist with the sticky side out.

Go for a walk or hunt and look for small items in nature that can be stuck to the masking tape, such as leaves, twigs, seeds, acorns, pebbles, and pods. In general, things that have already fallen on the ground are safe to pick. If in doubt, leave something.

Fill the bracelet by sticking the items onto it and wear it proudly.

3. Kim’s Game

This well-known game has entertained many generations and is easy to organize and play, indoors or out.

You’ll need:

• 20 small items, such as acorns, shells, twigs, rocks, pinecones, or seeds
• Pencil and paper for each person
• Towel or something to cover items

Decide whether you are playing in teams or individually.

Uncover items for two minutes.

Cover items again. Teams or players remember and name as many objects as they can.
Each player earns one point for each correct article named.

Seeking a different way to play? Try Duplication. Uncover items for two minutes. Players go out in nature to find duplicates of the items.

Have fun while you deepen your connection to nature!

Playfully yours, Suz

Adapted from Fed Up with Frenzy: Slow Parenting in a Fast-Moving World, by Susan Sachs Lipman. The book contains these activities and many more. Follow Suz on Twitter!