There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter,
the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.
~Elizabeth Lawrence
I have a secret dream that all parents and educators will put the above quote on their refrigerators to remind themselves what childhood should not only look like — but FEEL like. (Um, well I guess the cat is out of the bag now!) I am not totally naive or going through life with rose colored glasses, but I do think that it is high-time the pendulum swung back the other way on childhood.
I just re-read a great article, Lost in the Meritocracy, by Walter Kirn and was once again struck by just how wrong so much of childhood is these days. In our “quest for the best,” our view of what’s best has become warped and twisted, and incredibly shallow. It might look good on paper and even open a door or two, but are they really doors that we should be aspiring to, or want for our children? Should achievement trump happiness and well-being? Not in my world.
I have written about this notion of the “Super Kid” before. We have all seen them — in classrooms or sometimes on TV, being held-up as the ideal child. Over-achievers by age six. Children with adult vocabularies and sensibilities, often lacking the ability to connect with their own peer group, or so fearful of getting dirty or doing anything wrong they are stuck almost immobile in uncontrolled or unknown situations. Often, the “success” of these children send parents into panic mode, creating a drive to outdo or out-pace that is visited upon children.
I find it so offensive — whether it is motivated by good intentions or not. On the part of the parents who try to create them — pushing kids to excel at everything or perseverating on one identified skill that must be mastered. And on the part of education and enrichment programs that promise parents ivy-league success by 4th grade and drive young minds and hearts to near exhaustion. The adulteration of childhood is simply not OK. Not only does it rob children of their right to childhood, but it robs adults of the joy of offering true guidance, warmth, and compassion. It’s a lose-lose situation.
So, I have a proposal. Let’s redefine the Super Kid. Let’s start with a clean slate and give the kids a break.
The NEW and improved Super Kid:
- Laughs and giggles daily more times than he/she can count;
- Is in the process of learning about who they are and what they like, versus letting others define them;
- Plays for play’s sake;
- LOVES to learn;
- Stands-up for a friend;
- Is not afraid to get dirty;
- Is curious, sometimes loud, and capable of dreaming big;
- Understands that it’s OK to make mistakes;
- Learns that it’s OK not to get everything you want; and
- Understands that their only job in life is BEING A KID.
That, my friend, sounds like a Super Kid to me. One that has time to enjoy being a child and will arrive at adulthood with a sense of self, a capacity for happiness, and the keys to a truly bright future of their choosing.
See ya outside! – The Grass Stain Guru
photo credit: {just jennifer}
I love your posts Bethe. You nailed it again. My dearest childhood memories are of being outside, in the grass (or dirt), under the sun – playing. I’m proud that my children would gladly spend all day every day outside. And they’re Montessori children, so they’re getting this kind of reinforcement at school too. Yay outdoors!
Bethe, I could not agree more. Above all – I believe in being present for our children. Running around from activity to activity causes us all to disengage from the present. Kids just want to know they are loved and supported. They want freedom to express themselves. They want to laugh and play with abandon. Adults want this too – we’ve just forgotten.
How cool would it be if adults were committed to being like your New Super Kid themselves? Worthy words to live by!
Thanks for your great comments, Jim & Charrise! I am such a huge fan of Montessori & Waldorf schools. Jim, the fact that your kids have access to a public Montessori school is so fantastic!!
And Charrise, I couldn’t agree more. That is a great list for a Super Adult, too!
Cheers- Bethe
Too true.
I’ve been reading some studies lately on the correlation between values and pro-environmental behaviours. Universalism and self-transcendence (the identification with other living things, basically) were positively correlated with pro-environmental behaviours, and self-enhancement (power and achievement etc.) were negatively correlated with pro-environmental behaviours. Then we go and basically teach our kids to value self-enhancement above all else.
And then we wonder why it’s so hard to tackle climate change.
I enjoyed your post.
worth another RT. RT @balmeras: The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH.
For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH <thx from the nightshift, Bethe!
Yes, great article: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH (via @balmeras)
worth another RT. RT @balmeras: The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH.
I love this idea!
For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH
RT @balmeras: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH <thx from the nightshift, Bethe!
Yes, great article: For the night shift: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: Redefining the Super Kid http://bit.ly/E8ibH (via @balmeras)
W/ the new school year upon us, thought I would go into my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT @balmeras W/the new school year upon us, thought I would go n2 my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT @balmeras: W/ new school year upon us, thought I would go into blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT@balmeras W/ the new school year upon us, thought I would go into my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW
W/ the new school year upon us, thought I would go into my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT @balmeras W/the new school year upon us, thought I would go n2 my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT @balmeras: W/ new school year upon us, thought I would go into blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW #parent #edu
RT@balmeras W/ the new school year upon us, thought I would go into my blog closet: Redefining the Super Kid: http://bit.ly/AmnZW