Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready. Here life comes.
~Maya Angelou
I read this quote a few days ago, and I have not been able to get it out of my head since. It’s haunting me, as only something stunningly beautiful can. It’s sent me into reflection mode, which TGSG readers will instantly recognize. Gone are the lists and activity suggestions. In their place, comments and questions that I hope all caring adults will entertain.
As I have written before, childhood does not last forever, but fades quickly into the breakneck pace of adulthood. Ready or not, it will catch-up with them, and we need to make sure that kids are getting the tools to arrive at that destination with the best chance at success. And I am not talking about Suzuki violin lessons, reading by age three, or mastering HTML code by age seven. There is this popular notion today of the Super Kid. A child that is short-listed for Harvard by Kindergarten, has a black belt in Karate, wins every science fair, and is multi-lingual by age six. Seriously? That sounds like training camp to me, not childhood.
Now, let it be said that I am an advocate for a good education for every child. I just happen to believe that a good education is developmentally appropriate, includes plenty of unstructured play time, also focuses on character development, and teaching children how to think and ask questions, versus hammering home what to think. This education — this childhood – is really rooted in giving kids time to be kids. Not miniature adults, nor vessels for the unrealized goals of others, or accessories to highlight status and accomplishments. Sound harsh? Perhaps. But there is a real harshness that has crept into today’s childhood, and for unnecessary, although often well-intended reasons.
If you haven’t already done so, I recommend you read, The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids. Whether you are a parent, educator, or simply a caring adult, you will find much in the book that resonates with today’s society, and perhaps even within your circle of family and friends. Regardless of where you fall on the economic spectrum, there are many lessons to be learned from its pages.
Another good read related to the topic is, Doing School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed-Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students. The changes that need to be made to restore today’s childhood start at home, but education reform is also key. Without thoughtful changes to curriculum, assessment, and pedagogy we will continue to lag behind not only in what so many officials and administrators are obsessed with — the international comparison of test scores — but far more importantly, in educating healthy children with a life-long love of learning who are ready to be the stewards of a stable and thriving society.
Now, this is not to say that everything about today’s childhood is bad. Obviously, there is a lot of good in the world, and there are some amazing young folks out there, and parents and educators who should have their skills applauded and emulated. That said, I think we can all agree that there is much room for improvement, and that taking care of our youngest citizens is the best investment we can make as a society.
My challenge to TGSG community is this: Come up with a list of the 10 essential skills and/or character traits you think a child needs to possess to grow into a happy, healthy adult. Post them in the comments section, and let’s get a conversation going. In the next few weeks, I will publish our collective Top 10 List and we can look at best practices for helping to foster these in today’s society. Ten too much — how about five? Just think about it.
Regular readers of my blog probably know at least half my list already, and know a few of my favorite strategies to help foster these traits. Now, let’s hear yours!
I’m heading outside to mull things over. Join me? There’s a beautiful Dogwood tree out front, just perfect for sitting underneath and pondering important questions.
See ya outside! – The Grass Satin Guru
photo credit: {just jennifer}
Great post! Totally agree with you. I fear for our society with the way things are going, and I’m glad to find other moms wanting to make a change!
Here is my list of 10 essential skills and/or character traits you think a child needs to possess to grow into a happy, healthy adult:
1. Empathy — an attempt to understand what another person is feeling.
2. An ability to admit a mistake and learn from it. (And an ability to forgive a mistake in others.)
3. Patience with yourself and others.
4. Integrity — learning that’s it’s important to do what’s right even if it’s difficult.
5. Self confidence (even when others try to bring you down).
6. A love of learning and the knowledge that the more you know, the more you need to learn.
7. An ability to enjoy the process of life.
8. Perseverance — an ability to keep trying even after failure.
9. An ability to love oneself and others.
10. An open mind to accept other’s ideas and truly figure out what you believe.
Bethe,
You write with a strong, clear voice. There is no question of your commitment to your topics. I am in agreement with what you’ve written here, and below are the 10 character traits most helpful for children, as far as I’m concerned:
1. Confidence that they are loved
2. Fearlessness
3. Embrace their individuality
4. Integrity (be their word)
5. Respect for others
6. Sense of humor
7. Faith that they were born a creator
8. Courage to know that they are enough
9. Knowledge that they are part of something bigger than themselves
10. Knowledge that their dreams can come true
This topic is very important to me. As a coach, I see the lack of these traits in the adults with whom I work. I am building a program for kids in order to begin the process of teaching them these lessons before they get into the work world. I’m confident the world would be a better place if we did – kids don’t get this kind of training at home or in school.
Thanks for bringing this up. You are an amazing person, and I’m honored to know you.
Awesome post and as usual you’ve made educating fun. Here’s my list:
1) Curiosity.
2) Open mindedness and acceptance that comes with learning about the diversity of life/places in our world.
3) Exposure to the environment to connect what children see/hear/learn/do on the screen and in school with the physical world.
4) Patience. Learning that good things do come with waiting and working hard to achieve goals.
5) Creativity. Even if you think you’re not, everyone has a creative side. It’s what makes up human and what makes us survive. Creativity comes in many forms not just painting and drawing.
“I just happen to believe that a good education is developmentally appropriate, includes plenty of unstructured play time, also focuses on character development, and teaching children how to think and ask questions, versus hammering home what to think.”
Quote of the week, Bethe. Teaching children character is most important. Next on the list is teaching children how to think, not what to think. My top-10 list would be:
1. Integrity
2. Empathy
3. Ability to think for him/herself.
4. Compassion
5. Patience
6. Creativity
7. Open-Mindedness
8. Humor (not the kind that cuts others down)
9. Understanding and love of nature
10. Confidence
Thanks for getting my brain churning by starting this discussion, Bethe. Here are the first ten things that came to my mind (in no special order):
*A sense of wonder (Rachel Carson’s “The Sense of Wonder” has long been one of my favorite nature reads.)
*Friendliness/Courtesy (Warm, sincere hellos and thank-yous are powerful words.)
*Kindness/Compassion
*Empathy
*Curiosity/thirst for knowledge
*Comfort in one’s own skin/positive self esteem
*Pioneering spirit (willingness to try new things/explore, open-mindedness)
*Sense of humor/appreciation of laughter
*Ability to communicate (knowledge, feelings, instructions) effectively
*Creativity
Gratitude (& I don’t mean only for material possessions)
Patience
Empathy
Creativity
Self-esteem
Confidence
Sense of humor
Communication skills
Tolerance/Accepting of diversity
Consideration/Kindness
RT @balmeras: The Grass Stain Guru: It All Comes Down to Choices http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Lots of great comments.& a challenge!
Definitely worth a read: RT @balmeras: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: It All Comes Down to Choices http://bit.ly/Li4O1
Bethe, you speak to my heart! My list has only one thing: a deep and abiding love of learning. With that, all else follows–how we view our world, how we regard ourselves, and, perhaps most importantly, how we respond to others.
Thanks for all you do, Bethe. The next generation will be the better for it.
RT @balmeras: The Grass Stain Guru: It All Comes Down to Choices http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Lots of great comments.& a challenge!
Definitely worth a read: RT @balmeras: Today @ The Grass Stain Guru: It All Comes Down to Choices http://bit.ly/Li4O1
“It All Comes Down to Choices” @ The Grass Stain Guru is a must read! http://tinyurl.com/cqgqc7 Follow @balmeras! #followfriday
Another amazing and thoughtful post! And, boy, you have GREAT commentors! Here’s my list:
1. Creativity
2. Thoughtfulness/Kindness/Compassion
3. Joy
4. Good loser/gracious winner
5. Independent thinker
6. Grateful (and, like Sheri Z. said, not just for material things)
7. A knowing that we are all God’s creatures and we should treat each other the way we would like to be treated
8. Respectful of others and our earth
9. Empathy
10. A sense of humor
“It All Comes Down to Choices” @ The Grass Stain Guru is a must read! http://tinyurl.com/cqgqc7 Follow @balmeras! #followfriday
Bethe,
Great post! Made me put my thinking cap on:) When I think of “MGM” and the skills I think it’s most important for me to help nurture in her, I think of this list.
1. kindness – to others and ourselves
2. caring – for friends, family, environment, causes, the world
3. sharing – knowledge, books, toys, friendship
4. respect for self and others
5. love – to love ourselves so we can love others
6. compromise – because we all have to at some point
7. truth – I feel very strongly about being truthful – relationships fall when we’re not
8. honesty – ditto #7
9. treat others as you’d like to be treated – my golden rule
10. dependable – so very important to do what I commit to.
Every week, I learn more and more from you! Great blog!!!
In case U missed it this week. It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
@balmeras RT In case U missed it this week. It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
RT @balmeras ‘s latest post ! It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
In case U missed it this week. It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
@balmeras RT In case U missed it this week. It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
RT @balmeras ‘s latest post ! It All Comes Down to Choices @ The Grass Stain Guru http://bit.ly/Li4O1 Great comments, too!
Liked: Come up with 10 essential skills /character traits a child needs to possess to grow into a happy, healthy adult. http://tr.im/jIOI
Liked: Come up with 10 essential skills /character traits a child needs to possess to grow into a happy, healthy adult. http://tr.im/jIOI
I love that title / saying! I agree with you- too much focus on achieving at all costs. I’ve been hearing more and more lately about the importance of right brain thinking and how the education system is too focused on teaching using left brain methods which both leaves behind the children who are more right brain and also leaves children who are more left brain thinkers with no way to develop their right brain. Have you heard of the book “A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future” by Daniel H. Pink?
What a wonderful post and I love the though-provoking assignment. These are things to remind ourselves of often because it’s sometimes hard to remember in the day-to-day. Here’s my list:
Love – ourselves and others
Respect – ourselves, others and everything God made
Honesty and truth
Creativity – in creating beautiful things and looking at things differently
Patience
Compassion and Empathy
Confidence – in themselves and others
Sportsmanship
Seek goodness in everything
Dream
My readers ROCK my socks! Check out their comments on the Choices post: http://bit.ly/h1nXO Thanks to all of you that visit the site!
I will be back with more later, but I have to tell you — I am so blown away by you guys. Thank you SO MUCH for making this a real community and sharing your thoughts and ideas.
BIG hugs- Bethe
The Pink book is great, Helene! As is Brown’s “play” (all lowercase) SO many great books out there on related topics. Cheers- B
My readers ROCK my socks! Check out their comments on the Choices post: http://bit.ly/h1nXO Thanks to all of you that visit the site!
10 essential skills and/or character traits you think a child needs to possess to grow into a happy, healthy adult
I think that the above are all great – creativity, honesty, caring, golden rule, curiosity, etc – all really needed and not emphasized enough in general
One skill that has been left out though is the ability to read. I realize that we’re all trying to think outside the classroom on this one, and we should, but illiteracy can lead to a host of other problems that can keep an adult from some of the true pleasures in life.
@nwjerseyliz Do you follow @balmeras, fellow proponent of unstructured play time & #playoutdoors? Blog highlights incl.: http://bit.ly/ukyYB
@nwjerseyliz Do you follow @balmeras, fellow proponent of unstructured play time & #playoutdoors? Blog highlights incl.: http://bit.ly/ukyYB
@nwjerseyliz Do you follow @balmeras, fellow proponent of unstructured play time & #playoutdoors? Blog highlights incl.: http://bit.ly/ukyYB