Photo via Amazon.com
A few weeks ago, I ran a post on Free-Range Kids. Coined by writer and mom, Lenore Skenazy, the term Free-Range Kids refers to children that are allowed to move about their communities independently — walking to school, friends’ houses, or the park — much as most of us did as children. Obviously, we are not talking about 4 year-olds, but children old enough to understand boundaries and learn simple precautions, etc.
If you haven’t already, I urge you to read the post, which discusses the concept of perceived versus real risks. Also, I encourage you to follow Lenore’s work on the subject. It’s an important topic, and one that will make you think, and perhaps challenge some of your notions on the subject. Agree or disagree, Lenore’s work will give you pause, which is always good in my book.
Obviously, the amount of freedom or free-range to roam a child has will impact their play, their perceptions of their community, as well as their development. In a follow-up poll, I asked TGSG readers to weigh-in on two simple questions related to Free-Range Kids and the results are in. Below are the top three answers to each of the questions:
- Do you let your children play outside unattended?
- 32% said Yes;
- 21% said Yes, but only in the backyard; and
- In a tie — 10% said Yes, but only with a group of friends and 10% said No.
2. What is the PRIMARY reason you do not let your child play outside unattended?
- 44% said Child’s age (too young);
- 24% said No reason, they let their children play outdoors unattended; and
- 19% said Fear of stranger danger.
Actually, I was surprised and encouraged by the numbers, with over 50% of respondents’ kids being allowed to have independent time outdoors — even if it is in the backyard, it’s a positive step. Child-directed, independent play is key in developing a sense of self, the ability to assess risk and test boundaries, decision making, and a variety of other skills. Trusting your child and modeling a sense of comfort with your neighborhood and community — and for that matter, society at large — will help your child grow into a confident adult. I am not suggesting that we live in a Utopia, where there is no reason for concern or proper precautions. However, I am suggesting that we be aware of real versus perceived dangers, as well as the real danger of raising a generation steeped in fear.
Of course, the level of independence you feel comfortable with will depend upon the age of your child and the area where you live. I would love to discuss strategies here — things we can put in place in neighborhoods and communities that would help parents feel safe, as well as tips to share with kids about time on own or time with friends without we adults hovering around. We want them to feel comfortable and safe, too — not just the grown-ups. I invite you to leave comments and ideas, and in the coming weeks, I will put together a post with the top tips and suggestions.
If your interested in reading more on the topic, there is a great article by David Derbyshire, How Children Lost Their Right to Roam in Four Generations. As with any issue, we can’t just raise awareness. For things to change we have to educate, inform, and take steps — move thoughts into action.
We can’t just say we want to restore childhood, but we have to actively move in that direction. Make changes in our daily lives, our schools, our communities, and society at large. I’m all in. How about you?
See ya outside! – The Grass Stain Guru
Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
Thanks for these posts — your blog is fabulous.
I think this is a really important topic so I had to come comment. As a mom, I think that by focusing on what our children are losing we can also grieve some for what we ourselves are losing: Wonderful parenting resources (a.k.a. the backyard, the woods, the water, the neighborhood, the kids on the block).
As mother of two, I try everyday to normalize our outdoor play. I accept that there will be whining, I accept that the kids may feel some discomfort and boredom. That’s the start of connecting to the outdoors. But it isn’t easy.
I have to initiate and plan and map much more so than my own mother had to do. All of this takes time and energy and focus; all resources which many moms, depending on # of kids, demographics, locale, etc., do not have much of.
One more thought … When I feel like my kids aren’t getting enough outdoor time, or that I am curbing their “wildness” too much by strict schedules, etc., I try to to pause for a moment. When I do that, I find that just beneath my “business as usual” exterior, I feel as though my own wildness has been curbed too much too! Surprised? Not at all.
Eventually, Mom’s got to get outdoors, unplugged, and connect with her wildness too …
Your Fan,
Christine Kraft
A Free Range Mom
RT @stephhicks: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
New post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Great Post RT @stephhicks Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
RT @stephhicks: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
New post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Warning, this got long!!!
Now that Spring has made her way to WI, my boys are able to go out in the backyard and play for long stretches. I have been making a huge effort to let them have time out there where it is just the two of them. I do peak out the windows non-stop, but they don’t know how often I do it. I will call down to them to check-in, but I am trying to give them their space.
My boys are 7 and 4 yrs old, so this is pushing my comfort zone! I just don’t want my obsessive worrying to hinder them.
We do have the luxury of homeschooling on our side. This means the boys can go out whenever they need a break. Or whenever they want, really.
I just remembered something that totally goes with this. When our 7 year old was only 4 and the 4 year old was just a babe tied to my back, one of my closest girl friends and I took our broods to her parent’s cabin in northern Idaho. Her boys would have been ~6 and 4 yrs old. She was pregnant at the time.
Their cabin is “out there”! No running water, no electricity, cooking on a wood stove and using an outhouse. IT WAS HEAVEN! The outhouse was in shambles so we had to dig, dig, dig.
I hauled buckets of water from the spring with our baby tied to my back. I boiled water to wash the diapers and hung them on a line we put up.
The boys would spend the day wandering the woods. They knew not to go far and to stay pretty close to the trails. I had no problem with this, but I freak out to let my kids play in the back yard alone. The cabin was so untouched by the outside and I was comfortable there.
Anyway, interesting contrast. No?
I love it when my kids come in and smell like the wind and the earth! All of my kids could spent every waking moment outdoors. But then so could I.
We have a fenced backyard so I dont worry too much when my girls (3and 22 months) are out there . I do have them stick near the deck if they are alone…one of the boys needs to be with them if they are in the sandbox.
My boys (12,12, and
have made up an elaborate game that they play with the neighbors and spent a fair amount of time playing this. I am a bit hesitant about them going to the park a mile away. Perhaps this summer I will let them stretch their wings.
Thanks for all of the thoughtful posts.
Great Post RT @stephhicks Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In, http://digg.com/d1ohFa?OTC-em-sh2
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Cameron’s still too young to play fully unattended anywhere, but within our fenced back yard I feel comfortable doing laundry (basement door opens to the back yard). He knows he’s not to go out alone … can’t wait until he tests that boundary!
Strategies:
Our city has been wonderful about creating “traffic calmed” areas. The traffic circles and speed bumps slow cars down and I think help to keep drivers who do not ‘belong’ here away.
Community involvement in teaching kids who is safe to talk to, and ‘safe places’, neighbours they know. Actually, let’s just make that another point …
KNOWING NEIGHBOURS! It helps to keep kids safe and keep parents feeling at ease, knowing that their neighbours are keeping a casual eye out on your kids, and knowing that your kids know where to go if they need help fast.
Ages ago families on this block put up a “children at play, please slow down” sign. It’s yellow, bright, and fun – each kid put their handprint on the sign with their name. Those kids are all grown up and long gone now, but the sign is still there, and I think it helps. There are “small community grants” available, and I am thinking about applying for one to do a bunch more with the current cohort of younglings!
I enjoy reading your blog and tweets. You provide some valuable tools for parents and teachers to help children to live a well-rounded childhood. It saddens me a little to think that many kids today don’t have the opportunity to just be kids, playing outside with the neighborhood kids. We all have to take an active role in restoring childhood. I’m just not sure how.
I think about my own childhood and the entire days spent wandering around our suburb, the near by woods, really anywhere reachable by bike, and I don’t know how to give my children that blissful freedom. Granted I live in a much more urban environ than where I grew up, but its would also be going so against the social norm. Who could my girls roam with if everyone else they know is kept inside. At least our yard is a complete zone of freedom, now we just need to expand, expand, expand.
RT @rkesten RT @balmeras: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras: For the night shift: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Wonderful post from @balmeras @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @rkesten RT @balmeras: Today’s post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Wonderful post from @balmeras @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
Great post! We have been blessed to live on a road that is occupied by all family. We also have a ‘park’ (small w/swings, slide, ball court) I was a quarter mile from us on this road, so I was able to let my child play outside and even go down to the park at a very young age. It was a very fortunate thing since DS loves video games but I monitor the amount of time he spends on them and send him outside after so long.
I love the concept of free-range kids and, at 5 and 3, believe that my kiddos are growing up with this concept in an age-appropriate way. We have a fenced yard where they can play as long as they want unsupervised. We live in a cul-de-sac so I’ll let them play down the hill while I’m working in the front yard or chatting with neighbors. We also spend a lot of time in the great Oregon outdoors.
While I agree with this concept, I’m frustrated that urban kids and those in lower-income neighborhoods don’t have this opportunity. Their neighborhoods are dangerous and parents are doing all they can to protect them from the realities of their neighborhoods. They don’t get all the benefits of fresh air, room to run and nature.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on bringing this concept to these neighborhoods where they need it most!
RT @balmeras Great post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors
RT @balmeras Great post @ The Grass Stain Guru: Free-Range Kids: Readers Weigh-In http://bit.ly/uEHJK #playoutdoors